The Chronicles of Christopher Boon – R. Phipps

The satchel was small but as far as Christopher Boon was concerned everything he could possibly need for the day ahead was nestled quite satisfactorily in its leathery folds. His provisions for the long day ahead, four notebooks (biology, history, chemistry, french), two textbooks (maths, physics) and a compass. Sadly Christopher had neglected to bring a pencil and pen let alone a pencil case. Furthermore, long since he had placed his left shoe onto his right foot the shoelace had come undone. This didn’t concern Christopher as he stomped up to the imposing gate of Phillbrick, far more pressing was the encrusted snot resolutely clinging to the inside of his right nostril. A few seconds later the battle was inevitably won and Christopher rewarded himself with the green delicacy which seconds previously had been deep within his nose. Letting out a breath of satisfaction he entered the grounds of the school.

Phillbrick seemed unusually quiet today, and Christopher paused to consider why this might be, he couldn’t be early, could he? He would have looked at his watch, had he not lost it somewhere between Tuesday and Friday of the week preceding this one. He continued to pause. As the redbrick of the School stared at him blankly Christopher suddenly realised that today was a Monday. He continued to pause. Monday was a school day. He continued to pause. Nobody was here today, something was wrong. As Christopher stood on the brink of an epiphany a bird defecated on his shoulder. That was it! Today was the 6^th of January and term didn’t start until at least the 8^th. How stupid he had been! He mused as he walked back towards the threshold.

At 9:42am two days later Christopher Boon arrived at the gates of Phillbrick, still fresh in his shoulder was the white stain, still he was armed with the same books and compass he had been armed with 48 hours earlier and still the school was quiet. This puzzled Christopher as he thoughtlessly wiped a dribble of saliva from his chin.

“Very puzzling.”

It was little more than a whisper, but it seemed to spark Christopher to life. He immediately realised that it was not the 8^th but the 7^th and there was still another day to wait until the school term started. Letting out a breath of satisfaction he left the grounds of the school. Eighteen minutes later the bell rung and the first lesson of the term came to an end.       

R. Phipps